whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
oh god the rape fog is back!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
