I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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