Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
