actually, I'm a sock model
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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