My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
