after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
