Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
