I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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