so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
