When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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