I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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