I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
