I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
