If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
