The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
