My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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