wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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