Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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