Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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