It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
