Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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