i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
