How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
