your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
