I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
