oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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