xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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