He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love having hate sex.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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