If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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