You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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