We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
