I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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