the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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