Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
