Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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