You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
