Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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