Don't you send me to vm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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