it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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