just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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