If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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