Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
