"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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