This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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