remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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