shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
