when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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