Christians are straight up FREAKS
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
