is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
