I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
birth control should be required to get into college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
