i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
